Who Has Two Thumbs And "Releases?"

THIS GUY!

Below are Trump releases, translated from the original Яussian.

This is just a small sampling.

We will continue to update as they, ahem, "come."


 

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

"She does have a very nice figure. I've said that if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her."

“I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.... I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful--I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything."

“Watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn’t these people vote? Celebs hurt cause badly.”

“We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for the inauguration, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars. All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.”

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

"The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy."

"An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”

“Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man--he made a good decision.”

“Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big."

“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me--and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”

“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me--consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

“One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

"The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

“My IQ is one of the highest--and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

“The only card [Hillary Clinton] has is the woman’s card. She’s got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she’s got going is the woman’s card, and the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.”

"There's nobody that has more respect for women than I do."

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”